“Love your enemies, and pray for those who persecute you…”
When we read those words, it might be easy to think of some faceless enemy or persecutor–like a foreign leader, or a terrorist, or a political opponent, or perhaps even our own government. Yes, we certainly should pray for them. But I think Jesus is calling us to a kind of prayer that is way more difficult than that.
An example:
When I was in college, I went to confession once, during my senior year. At the time, I felt desperate for some sort of spiritual healing because a difficult relationship with a coworker had been eating away at me for months: My resentment toward her had not only poisoned my attitude at work but poisoned my soul, as well. I felt so toxic that I felt the need to go to a priest for confession for the first time since high school.
My penance? The priest told me to pray for her. The absolute last thing I wanted to do. I had no desire to pray that the Lord bless the person who had taken all the joy out of my life. But it was my penance, so I did it. And you know what? The relationship – miraculously – improved! By the end of that quarter, I had even begun to enjoy her.
When I look back on that situation, I’m pretty sure that those prayers didn’t change my co-worker. Those prayers changed me.
All throughout life we’re going to encounter people we don’t like. Instead of praying for God about those people (“Please help me to endure this insufferable person”), we should be praying for them instead. You may be surprised by who becomes a better person because of it.
Anna Mitchell is the co-host and news director of the Son Rise Morning Show. Check out the show at www.sonrisemorningshow.com.
Thank you for this intriguing new perspective! I’ll definitely look at my interpersonal relationships through a different lens as a result of reading this.
praying FOR PERSON IN MY HO– USEHOLD CAUSING ME GRIEF AS I AM ALSO IN FINANCIAL DISTRESS AS A RESILT OF EVENTS HERE CA– USED BY VARIOUS PARTIES.
nothing has worked to change my narcissistic mother, although I now can view her as a “sick” person rather than evil one. She is still impossible.
People saw my mother as a wonderful kind person.
Towards me she was bitter and jealous. We would go Christmas shopping – my sister would get a nice dress and maybe a bit of jewellery – I would get some teatowels.
It was after she died that I looked back and realised it was jealousy that caused this.
When I was born I stole her thunder – especially with two relatives/
Be prepared that a toxic person remains just as toxic in spite of prayers. We should warn people, because they go to confession and Mass desperately hoping for a change that isn’t going to happen, no matter how hard we improve ourselves. The toxicity can remain, even worsen. Sometimes accepting the cross or leaving the situation are the solutions. Problems are solved, crosses are borne.
It is hard, after my father in law died (seven months after my mother in law) my estranged husbands to aunts (Mothers sisters) let out a tirade of verbal nastiness against my husband and about his father.
It was so hard to be nice to them, and to the sister that is still alive.
They destroyed my marriage. Although still friends with my husband I for various reason could not live with him
He shut himself off, and myself and our two children out. Lies and infidelity followed.