In popular culture, there is the common idea that everybody has their "soul mate" the one person in the world that was specifically meant for you. This idea is pushed in movies, books, and magazine articles to the point where it has become an accepted fact.

But does God create a single person that is your exact fit and whom you are to marry? Is this idea even theologically sound?

If you really unpack what society has come to mean by "soul mate", you are left with an idea that not only has a lot of problems theologically, but one that creates a lot of problems.

First of all, it gives the impression that finding a spouse that you can live a happy and fulfilling life with is a 1 in 7,000,000,000 proposition. That's ludicrous! That kind of thinking leads to the chronic dissatisfaction and constant searching for "something better" that destroys so many relationships in today's world.

In a study by by the Center for Applied Research in the Apostolate (CARA) at Georgetown University, 88 percent of Catholic respondents say they want their spouse to be their soul mate first and foremost. But this is a recently modern development when looking at similar studies from just 50 years ago.

The idea of a soul mate is the stuff of romance novels; and it's just that: fiction. The idea that there is one singular person that will fulfill all your needs and desires is not only implausible, it's also reflective of a selfish kind of love that first seeks fulfillment in oneself, instead of first seeking to love another in partnership.

Secondly, the idea that there is one person you are destined to marry is contrary to the concept of free will and that you have an active role and participation in God's plan for you. Our God is not one that forces us to do anything, let alone forcing us to marry. In the Bible, Jesus talks about two people "joining" to become "one flesh". He does not say that two people are already "joined together".

Now this does not mean that God does not have a plan for you and a future spouse. It means that you have free will and that God exists outside of a rigid linear timeline where choices can only be made in an immutable direction. It means that you need to take an active role in finding a spouse that you can live with in a state of matrimony and share your life with, becoming one person.

You can participate in God's plan for you by taking actions that will put you in the right place at the right time to meet a person that you can eventually marry! One way to do your part in finding your spouse is to get a free membership to CatholicMatch, the world's largest Catholic dating site!

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