Our deepest longing is to be loved with infinite love, which means to be in union with God. That is because we are made in his image. That desire we discover in our own heart corresponds with whom God actually created us as. It’s not there by mistake! This also means that HE ALREADY LOVES US! This is one clear difference between the groveling of the Old Testament and the truth we have in Jesus. We don’t need to beg for God’s love, he already gives it to us, infinitely. What we need is the grace to receive it.
When we receive this grace, we receive God’s mercy. When we receive God’s mercy, we don’t want to withhold it from others. In order to “forgive so that we might be forgiven,” we have to actually receive God’s forgiveness first, and that means to forgive ourselves! The humility that is required to love is the humility that sees that we are children of God, loved and accepted by him, forgiven by him and receptive to that forgiveness in relationship with him. Then, and only then, can we love and forgive and show others authentic mercy.
This doesn’t mean that we should ignore the horror of committing sin against God. We need to let our tendency to sin show us our weakness and remind us of our nature as children. St. Elizabeth of the Trinity said that God in this way wants to, “turn our sins against themselves for our advantage.”
Being children means not being the parent. It means accepting that there is another who is really in charge, whom we have to surrender to, and whose will we need to accept.
If we want to be merciful, we need to start with accepting God’s mercy for us. There are probably many ways that you think or feel deep down that you are not good enough, don’t do enough, or ultimately need to be more than you already are. This is the opposite of mercy and the opposite of the way God sees you.
Dr. Greg Bottaro is Executive Director of the CatholicPsych Institute, which provides therapy to people in New York, Connecticut and around the world online.
Have mercy on me, O Lord.