“I look at Jesus on the cross and I just tell Him, ‘I don’t want that.’” This is what I told a priest not too long ago, when I was seriously struggling to find the joy, the freedom, and the life that we’re supposed to find in suffering with Christ. Yet, as I admitted this, a lump made its way to the back of my throat and tears filled my eyes — because I knew, as He tells us in today’s Gospel, that if I wanted to come after Jesus, I needed to deny myself, take up my cross daily, and follow Him.
I had faith that I wanted to follow Him, but I was finding myself clinging to empty promises that the world offered me, unsure that carrying a cross with Jesus was worth giving all that up. After all, the world’s promises are attractive: attention, affection, wealth, success, independence.
But Jesus’ words are beautiful: joy, freedom, real Love.
In this season, we’re called to open our eyes to the half-heartedness of the world’s promises and know the fullness of Jesus’ paradoxical promise of new life that lies in the cross. Sometimes, the world’s voices are so loud that we only hear its promises. But they will fall short, while Jesus’ will remain.
The conflict between my desire for Jesus and my struggle to deny myself what the world offers me and carry my cross isn’t one that disappeared after I talked to that priest. But as I continue to seek Him and His promises, the promises of the world lose their luster. I pray that this Lent, we can let His promises empower us to carry our crosses with Him, trusting that the life He’s inviting us to will be greater than the shallow thrills of the world.
Leah Murphy is the Coordinator of Digital Evangelization and Outreach for Life Teen, where she strives to share all things true, good, and beautiful with young people on the Life Teen blog and social media, in an effort to lead them closer to Christ. With a deep desire for authenticity in all things, she’s pursuing heaven on a messy little journey that Jesus is making beautiful with new mercy every day.
